Tue, 9 Mar 2010 00:14:56 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/ Weird Harold's Aardvark en-us http://www.weird-harolds.com/images/logo.gif http://www.weird-harolds.com/ webmaster@weird-harolds.com http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1831.html May 23, 2004 - 05:08 PM Weekend of May 21-23, 2004 my wife and I attended the Mississippi Area Al-Anon Convention in Hattiesburg MS. Al-Anon is an acronym for Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a spiritual program for friends and relatives of alcoholics. I have heard many stories from many members of this fellowship. These people share their experience, strength, and hope to give evidence of their recovery from the dysfunctional relationships created by living with alcoholics. Behavior sometimes in these relationships often take on bizarre behavior. These acts are considered appropriate (at the time) by the perpetrator as a mean to correct inappropriate behavior of a loved one. They are often known by the victim and he/she also play the game. Told this weekend was a person marked all liquor bottles at the liquid line to see how much his alcoholic wife was drinking, only to come home from work to find all the bottles marked had the liquid line one inch above the marked line. As the cabinet to the liquor was opened a laugh came from the adjoining room. The other I heard was fantasied but never carried out. One lady said she envisioned coming home finding her husband drunk, past out, in his briefs with his hand holding his penis. She would find the super glue and put it on palm of his hand, then put that hand back on his penis. Weirdharold says: The only person more insane than an alcoholic that continues to drink is the person trying to get him to stop. Tue, 9 Mar 2010 00:14:56 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1830.html As in war, the victor only seemed to win. As quoted from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Page 66 Thu, 4 Mar 2010 19:35:32 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1829.html Apperception of time in years is indirectly proportional to one's age. Mon, 1 Mar 2010 20:31:52 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1828.html A good metaphor for someone trying to control or stop an alcoholic from drinking is the old country boy eating cornbread and molasses. He keeps trying to get just the right amount of each. The only difference with this analogy is the cornbread and molasses are in endless supply, and nobody ever gets full. Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:02:46 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1827.html Serious mental illnesses (like manic depressive and schizophrenia) are much simpler for the family than most believe. The same mental illnesses are much more complicated than those who treat in it medically led us to believe. Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:00:51 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1826.html Melancholy is present today in the form of self loathing and chronic fatigue. Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:05:40 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1825.html There are no souls saved after nine o'clock Thu, 4 Feb 2010 13:24:56 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1824.html If you suffer from the deadly spiritual malady as I. You might begin a methodology of recovery by following the suggestion of the first three words on: Page 112 of the Big Book Wed, 3 Feb 2010 13:04:03 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1823.html Melancholy is too great too write today Tue, 2 Feb 2010 11:43:40 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1822.html Tradition #2 For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as he may express Himself in our group conscience........................ A vote is a man made way of saying, "This is our group conscience, so the authority comes from God", when it is an act of governance. God is expressing Himself when we are all loving, tolerance, and compassionate to the still suffering and each other. While we keep in mind our purpose and our limitations. It is all a matter of what God can do that we cannot do. Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:48:34 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1821.html I got sober once in Possum Trot, KY. We had a fellowship meeting in a Baptist Church right in front of Emmett's tobacco patch. I joined the group there with three others already sober. We were told that we should have a bank account that required two signatures. This required a tax ID number. Nobody in the group knew what that was, so we talked to Emmett. Emmett went off on a story about buying a wife and all he got was a darn old dress. He was sure no help. We talked about it for several days and decided there was no way to share our experience, strength and hope without some money and a bank account, so we decided to start taking turns being the town drunk again. That was no fun so I moved to Louisville where every broke tobacco farmer goes. That way you move up the chain link a notch. My drinking got much worse so I joined a group down by Mohammed's father old place. We had a little money and no bank account. We let some crazy drunk be treasurer. Hell, he was out drunk again in no time at all. About twenty members sat down one night and had a long discussion about our situation. It was agreed no way could we share our experience, strength and hope without some money. So we hit the streets on the west end of Louisville with bottles of Kentucky Gentleman and several cases of Sterling Beer. Sun, 31 Jan 2010 15:06:26 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1820.html Prudent Reserve: The amount of money a Fellowship Treasurer needs for a binge. The amount will determine length of the binge. Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:04:19 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1819.html There is an axiom within the 4 to 12 year olds that in a free society no one can make a person drink or use drugs nor can anyone make them stop. The simplicity of this idea gets lost in our adult society. Our fellowship was founded upon that principle our children understand. Sometime we lose that thought and we damage ourselves and others trying to prove we know how to show all how to stop drinking. Big Book Page 90 .....................If he does not want to stop drinking, Don't waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:06:49 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1818.html "Let us always love the best in others---and never fear the worst" As Bill Sees It Page 203 First Written in Grapevine 1962 This idea our Fellowship tries to creates an atmosphere all who suffer are welcome. This thought was an attraction for me. Sun, 24 Jan 2010 17:17:08 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1817.html "Despair" the best that can happen, "I am in the Happy House Now". Hopefully no guns, police or coroners. This might be a way to look at it Sat, 23 Jan 2010 16:34:47 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1816.html If I progress into the third step to despair, depression, I cannot treat in a short order. Hopefully I have made it this far without using psychoactive drugs not suggested by a competent physician. If so go to Topic: Anatomy of Melancholy on this site. The best is to pick up the book, "As Bill Sees It". Go to index and look for title page Depression Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:43:28 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1815.html If the exalting feelings of self-righteous anger are not attended to quickly we fall into second step to despair, self pity. More work will be need to stop the fall into depression like, spiritual inventory, prayer and meditation, talking to spiritual advisor will be needed. Thu, 21 Jan 2010 13:14:00 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1814.html Self-righteous anger is the first of three steps to despair. Treated properly with prayer and meditation much pain can be avoided Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:33:13 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1813.html Hold the hand that shakes the most Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:14:50 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1812.html Tradition #12 Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Weirdharold says When discussing anonymity I note some folks have a self-centered fear their illness will be expose to the public. I had this fear myself. This fear decreased as I grew spiritually within the program. I could not be of value to the still suffering alcoholic until this fear had been somewhat decreased. Also, I learned fast I could not carelessly use my illness to attain public attention. I must try to go humbly go through my community practicing these principles in all my affairs. Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:44:55 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1811.html Listen to no one that does not make coffee for everyone Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:30:47 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1810.html I hear many things around the fellowship I have not experienced, nor would I have wished it had. I remember my parents and later my wife controlled me with the checkbook. This I deeply resented. When my wife handed me the checkbook and told me to take of myself and continued by saying she and our son would take of themselves, a fear came to being I had never felt before. In nature it was, how was I going to care for myself? I knew I could not continue drinking and care for my financial needs. I called an alcohol/drug counselor within one hour, as my wife had suggested. This call started me on a program within the fellowship that I continue today. The issue of trying to control others continued until my work life ended in 1993 when the disability determination board said I was no longer able to work in a completive work environment. This attempts to control continued within my family and the fellowship. This character defect has often alienated family and fellowship members. Seeking a Higher Power for spiritual self sufficiency gave me the self sufficiency in needed for living. Sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others suffering alcoholics has been my methodology for living without using alcohol for many years years. My relationship with a Higher Power is unique as my fingerprints and assume other alcoholics are also. The principle in our fellowship we can choose our own Higher Power and we put all our principles above personalities give me the strength to understand I must surrender my will to give up the bottle and take on my own responsibilities to live a of service. Any time I insist on controlling others or someone take my responsibilities I am have not asked my Higher Power to relieve me of that human bondage of self and I am still dependent upon other to relieve my alcoholism. Any time I hear someone giving another instructions or someone asking for specific instructions I suggest the following reading: (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (b) That probably no human power could relieve our alcoholism (c) That God could and would if he were sought. Tell me what you did, not what to do. I hope that my character flaws are such that I can do the same. Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:07:13 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1809.html One of the most important and often thought about of my fellowship experiences happened in 1984. I had just moved to the Pottsville, PA area. I was alone and went to meeting every night and picked up a few individuals that did not have transportation. One of them being Mike with a very Irish surname. My father had died in March and my father-in-law died the first of August. I had a very stressful job also. I was suffering from untreated Hypo Mania. As always I was going to a fellowship meeting a least two or three times per week and as always I had entered those groups as a member making coffee. One Tuesday night Mike was with me the topic (of the meeting before the meeting) how much dry time we had, Mike had 3 months, then I stated, "I have 8 years". Mike came back with, "Man, I do not want what you have". This statement was so true He, for sure, did not want the serious mental disorder I had and still have. I must remember not to shovel my dry time down some newcomer throat, only share my experience, strength and hope. The Manic Depressive must treat the variations in brain functions via the scarcely know methods that now exist and use the fellowship to treat the alcoholism. One thing I know that causes these variations is stress. I must remove myself from all stressful situations until a more comfortable situation comes about. Sat, 9 Jan 2010 15:25:15 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1807.html I have been hearing much about sponsorship in my fellowship meetings lately. There a two things I find are not part of the fellowship. The first, suggestions are given as mandates. I may be understanding the pigeons incorrectly. But this is how I understand what they are saying. The other is I hear personalities quoted as gospel. The first thought, I reference our most read literature from, page 89, "You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill." We must not lose their confidence because we do not understand their illness. The individual being sponsored could have mental impairment plus a spiritual malady. I suggest no mandates. The second thought, I again reference our most used literature from, page 87, "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer". Then I will quote a well know Buddhist Monk, "The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon." Thu, 7 Jan 2010 23:42:30 -0500 http://www.weird-harolds.com/Article1806.html "don't try to be a saint by Thursday" Bill W. A phrase Bill attributed to early members of the fellowship. Found in "As Bill Sees It" Page 181. It was first printed in the Grapevine in June 1961. It means to me to avoid spiritual pride and spiritual dominance over others. Thu, 7 Jan 2010 13:19:42 -0500